I read ^^that quote^^ today and couldn't help but notice how fitting it was for this little experiment we've got going. Our first Tweeker is over, and I feel as though we all came out of this with completely different battle scars. One of the things that first drew me to this blog was the idea of getting seven distinct perspectives on the same activity, and giving up non-water seems like the perfect example of what should happen on this blog - some of us struggled, some of us didn't even notice.
I think I did both. The first few days, as you know, were a struggle. I couldn't stay awake during the day, could barely form a sentence, and was angry and miserable without my morning cup of coffee. Then I turned a corner and got used to it. I realized that, beyond all doubt, I had a physical and psychological addition to coffee that was harder to break than I expected. For the next week and a half, I managed to get to work earlier than I had been for the last month, and I (surprisingly) felt more awake and focused. I managed to get my eating under control again, after a few days of compensating for caffeine with snacking.* Although I realize I'm just tempting fate here, I don't think anything tweeker could be harder for me than this one.
Given all this, it is upsetting on some level that I am back to drinking my beloved morning cup of coffee.
Throughout this week, my wonderful co-workers have been excitedly asking me whether I am relieved to be drinking coffee again. Two weeks ago, I truly would have given a noogie to a baby to have just a half a cup of coffee with a drizzle of Coffeemate. But when I actually poured myself that cup on Monday, I did it more out of obligation to my former self than out of desire or need. I remembered how much I loved coffee, so I had some.
The researcher in me is seeking alternative explanations for my improved performance over the last few weeks. Counfounding variables, if you will. A few:
I think I did both. The first few days, as you know, were a struggle. I couldn't stay awake during the day, could barely form a sentence, and was angry and miserable without my morning cup of coffee. Then I turned a corner and got used to it. I realized that, beyond all doubt, I had a physical and psychological addition to coffee that was harder to break than I expected. For the next week and a half, I managed to get to work earlier than I had been for the last month, and I (surprisingly) felt more awake and focused. I managed to get my eating under control again, after a few days of compensating for caffeine with snacking.* Although I realize I'm just tempting fate here, I don't think anything tweeker could be harder for me than this one.
Given all this, it is upsetting on some level that I am back to drinking my beloved morning cup of coffee.
Throughout this week, my wonderful co-workers have been excitedly asking me whether I am relieved to be drinking coffee again. Two weeks ago, I truly would have given a noogie to a baby to have just a half a cup of coffee with a drizzle of Coffeemate. But when I actually poured myself that cup on Monday, I did it more out of obligation to my former self than out of desire or need. I remembered how much I loved coffee, so I had some.
The researcher in me is seeking alternative explanations for my improved performance over the last few weeks. Counfounding variables, if you will. A few:
- Fewer nights of 2-5 hours of sleep, of which there had been quite a few before this Tweek
- I cleaned my apartment during the first week, which always coincides with an improved state of mind
I stopped drinking coffee and cleared the caffeine from my system
I'm telling myself that I'll quit coffee again if I start to take a nosedive. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, I'm starting to remember how nice it is to drink it.
So - what's next?!
* Incidentally, when I had my first cup on Monday at 10am (with a cup of Kosher-for-Passover "cereal"), I didn't even notice I was hungry until 2:30. Welcome back to the world of caffeine-induced appetite suppression...
3 Comments
Post a commentI'm off caffeinated coffee. I had a decaf yesterday and I felt bad. I had a Nestea at lunch and nearly cried.
someone was just giving me a hard time last night for resuming with the coffee drinking. i think the phrase "moral weakness" was thrown around, and i was compared unfavorably to you - the more saintly tweeker.
...if that makes you feel better.
it does ;)